Just bored... so why not type...

Am I really that much of a "go-goer" that God thinks the only way to slow me down is to put some major hurdle in my way? I mean, I know I'm a little stubborn at times, but I'd like to think a simple slap on the hand would do better than a kick in the butt?! Ahhh... as I lay here, trying to take my time to heal I just can't help but to have flash backs to 2 1/2 years ago, when this bed in the middle of my living room was my life! I knew the possibility was there to be doing that again the next time around.... I just didn't think it would start at 6 weeks instead of 12 or 13 weeks. AND I figured it would come at a time where I knew it was for a purpose - for a new little life. I feel like I've been in such limbo the past few days. No clue as to if there is a little one in there to protect, yet very thankful that my life was protected in the process.... but a little irritated that for me pregnancy means lots and lots of money lost in wages, $350 co pays for surgery (will end up being x2 this time around) and so much time wasted in bed.

Yep, so who said life would be fair, right?

Booo, just feeling a little sorry for myself I guess.



How did I do it the first time around (thankfully my hubby got me my laptop soon into my bedrest)... no facebook, no blog.... how did I function without that people connection?! I had good friends who would visit weekly and family would come as often as they got the chance, but others lives had to go on while I was... well just say while I was Kason's personal incubator.



So my recovery... going as well as expected I guess. Although I had no clue what to expect. I'm laying here... and thinking wow, no pain (except for the ache in my leg from my Lovenox shot I just gave myself.. yep, thought I had another good 6 or 7 weeks without that too... just another curve ball. I need to learn to duck) Very good feeling.



So as I was saying... The first few days were a little rough. Not so much the incision - honestly rarely noticed that pain - but more so the pain from all the air they puffed me up with. Up in my shoulders in my ribs. Oh my the aches. Now that that has worked its way out one way or another.... yep, definitely an incision there. A few of them. As my friend warned me, "Oh, you'll feel those when that "gas" pain stuff is gone."



Yesterday was wonderful. I felt great! I didn't take any pain meds for over 24 hours! I thought I was healed! Then last night, decided I felt good enough to take my kids to fireworks so they wouldn't miss out on the festivities because mommy had to lay in bed... again. Bad idea. Last night was a bad night, this morning was a bad morning. Luckily today has gotten better, just lots of burning and yep, like I said, there is an incision there!



It will get better. I'm glad I'm 5 days post-op rather than in that day again. I'm glad tomorrow is the day we find out if this was all worth it. I guess, it would have all happened had I not gotten pregnant, I think we just found it sooner this way and it could have gotten bad without us catching it. I thank God for that.



I guess I just think we deserve a break. I pray we see that break tomorrow afternoon in the form of a tiny baby on the ultrasound screen with a strong healthy heartbeat. Please pray with me.


On an ending note for the night.... thank you all so much for your phone calls, your text messages, e-mails, facebook messages, and just silent prayers. I can't tell you how much it all means to us knowing we have so many people out there hoping and praying the best for us. Mom, thank you so much for coming and watching my kiddos while I recovered... I hated making that call again, I know you've had so many of those bad phone calls, I was praying you would be spared of that this time around.
Good night all.