Weekly update

Well still nothing much to report. Things still haven't started yet but my Dr called today to check up on me and let me know my lab results. HCG is down to 6,500 which is another big jump I am thankful for (yes, still trying to look for the "good" in a pretty crappy situation.) I'm getting to the point now where I'm getting a little cranky that things aren't done already. It's been such a long journey. I would be 12 weeks tomorrow and about a week away from my cerclage placement and here we are still waiting on my body to realize what happened 5 1/2 weeks ago.

I've realized again what I realized a little over 3 years ago when we were going though something even harder to deal with than this. I think I have a major pride issue. I don't like being the one people pity and feel bad for and even though I'm thankful for all of the kind "I'm sorry's" "I feel so bad for you's" they make me cringe. We are blessed. Very blessed, and yes, we are going though a hard situation (and don't get me wrong - we couldn't make it through without every one's support! I can't thank you enough for that), but I'm trying to concentrate on the blessings. Please help me focus on the good right now, it's what I need. We make beautiful, perfect babies but for some reason, getting them here safely is just something that we are going to struggle with.

Being at work and seeing all of these new babies being brought into the world hasn't affected me at all, until the other day I worked. I had a mom who had had a few induced abortions, did drugs during her pregnancy and how is it that she has a good outcome and people like me, my sis-in-law, some good friends of mine who are having trouble getting pregnant or have lost babies, who do everything right have troubles? All of these babies being born into bad situations and ones who could be born into a loving home are taken away...

Sorry about my rant... just had to get it out. Also I just wanted to say that IF we decide to do this again (it won't be for a while if we do - we are trying to concentrate on selling the house and moving into a new place before we even talk about it again) it will be a long while before we tell anyone. Please do not be offended if you don't hear anything until... "guess what, pray for me and baby during my cerclage placement!" I feel it's emotionally draining enough for us, we don't need to drag everyone else along for the ride too.

On another note - we had our first showing yesterday. From what it sounded that they liked the house, just aren't sure what area they want to move to yet. So, just hoping that it doesn't take long for that perfect family to come and fall in love with the place. We go on Monday to look at a few places that I found online that we think we would like. So, that is exciting. I'm ready for a change.

Sorry, no pictures this week. I don't even think I took any!